Are there any doctrines of the Catholic Church that you have trouble accepting? (This question was asked on 4th October 2006)

The really simply answer to your question is 'No'. But that does not say very much. Some doctrines are far more important than others - which is not to say that some are optional; it means that making sense of some of them depends on understanding the implications of others. Catholic teaching is a complex set of doctrines, and we all have to try the best they can to makes sense of things as a whole. It is not quite like a jigsaw, where everything fits together on a single surface, it is more like a three- or four- dimensional puzzle. But it is not a puzzle at all. We say that the Catholic faith is a mystery: we can only grow in an understanding of it by living it out over our whole lives. In the meantime we get glimpses in all sorts of ways of what the ultimate meaning is, but often those glimpses are more in the sense of an inner conviction of meaning and value, rather than something we can explain in simple language to people who have not had the same experience.

So to get a sense of the whole of Catholic teaching takes a lot of patience and openness of mind and heart. And to grow in that it is important to ask questions, but especially to be generous and loyal to what we do recognise as the truth we can live by, while we also need to be humble and ask God to help us understand better what we find hard.

But there are books that try to explain things as a whole. The best of these is the Catechism of the Catholic Church. There is a much shorter Compendium to this, recently published, which is particularly good for getting an overview.


Does your abbey received foreign vocations or vocations coming from outside England? (This question was asked on 23rd August 2006)

In the past, we have not received applications from abroad - apart from one or two from Ireland. The reason has been that we have felt there would be too many difficulties at a cultural level for someone coming from outside an English cultural setting to adapt to our way of life. There have been one or two Americans who have tried, but before long found it impossible to continue.

That is how things have been in the past. I am not sure that the same difficulties always arise nowadays, and we are prepared to be more open-minded. But there is no doubt that the culture gap is a real issue for someone seeking to enter a monastery in a foreign country. What I think has changed is people's awareness of other cultures and their ability to adapt to new cultural settings. This is because people travel so much more now, are much more open to and appreciative of cultural variety, and factors such as that.

However, we still keep to the rule that we will accept no applications before a person has visited Downside personally - and on their own initiative - more than once, and has got a good experience of our life as a guest. Then we are prepared to consider the possibilities and also the problems that would face someone who wished to apply to enter our novitiate.


I am not Catholic, and I have not been particularly religious, but I have felt a calling, what must I do to enter the community, what must I consider? (This question was asked on 21st September 2006)

Baldly, to enter a Catholic monastery you need to become a Catholic - which may also involve being baptized? This is because Catholics believe that monastic commitment grows out of a regular practice of Christian life and prayer.

But it is certainly the case that the Holy Spirit works in unpredictable ways, and a person may be deeply attracted to a life of conversion, prayer, solitude and community before they have really got the 'Christian thing' worked out or pieced together. People who are seeking God (or whatever) are particularly welcome in monasteries as guests, and we hope that they would be able to find some light along their path by their stay. But it may well be a long path before they are able to make the kind of commitments a monk undertakes by his vows to live a monastic life.

God always hears the cries of our heart, the more surely, the more truly they express our deepest needs and desires. Has can make sense of the movement of our spirits when we scarcely can ourselves, because we are often strangers to ourselves, whereas he is the loving Father who made us and 'in whom we live and move and have our being.'


I am a Catholic losing my faith. I want to find my way back to the Church. What do I do? (This question was asked on 14th September 2006)

Good for you! I hope this reply will help you get started. Sometimes, of course, what feels like 'losing one's faith' is really losing an earlier version of it. A bit like a snake, or perhaps a caterpillar, we grow by shedding skins that we have grown out of. And we really do have to lose the earlier version, even if a lot of it gets re-expressed in the more mature version.

The constants in this situation will be a regular life of prayer - or a steady wanting God, even though we feel we have lost sight or touch with him - plus continuing to use sacramental life of the Church to nourish our faith - in spite of the sense that its 'not doing much for me'. All of us need to make acts of faith like the man in the Gospel who said ‘Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.’ These prayers express our desire and readiness to grow in faith even though we have lost the kind of grip we had on it with our heads; we are always going to be surprised by God – and that can often feel like being let down!

One of the real challenges to growing in faith is the need to live a life of honesty and integrity - keeping all the various parts of life, all our commitments and relationships consistent with discipleship of Jesus. That is the only way we can live out our faith commitment to God. Faith expresses itself in love, but we can only love others with the love we know we only receive from him. So we have to make sure all our lives are ‘joined up’ in that kind of way.

So do not shy away from admitting any serious sins to yourself, and to seeking God's forgiveness. The same applies to unsatisfactory habits of sin (or perhaps bad habits of thought, attitude, behaviour) that do not promote your love of God, but do promote selfishness, if nothing else. A Catholic should use the sacrament of Confession for these sins.

Do try to get more involved in the life of a Christian community. Others often carry our faith when we are down, and others need our support, even though we may doubt we have much to give. We can help each other witness and persevere. Again a local parish is the community where in a real sense we belong as Christians. We need to be rooted in some kind of Christian fellowship. Sometimes we need to sink our roots more deeply into Christian life to find the nourishment we lack. 

It is always good to feed your faith, so that you can ask better and better questions about things, and feel that even thought the last word will never be said, we can put things together in our minds better. Reading, talking with someone who does the reading (!), going on retreats, all help. 

And never be afraid to pray honestly - or to learn to listen to what God may actually be trying to say to you. God speaks by silences. ‘Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.’ That is a prayer we all make, often every day. Try not to blame the Church (or God) unfairly. People are not perfect; the Church is always trying to progress on her own pilgrimage of faith. And if people are not up to much sometimes, God can still use them in ways only he sometimes knows to help people find him. Please get back in touch if you want. But God bless you and help you.


What are monks allowed in their rooms, are you allowed radios and novels to read for pleasure? (This question was asked on 16th September 2006)

Thank you for your question. Our rooms are quite simple really, and are primarily meant as places where we can be on our own, places for holy study and prayer. That is why they are traditionally called 'cells'. The word should not make us think of prisons, but of monastic solitude, where we can be alone with God. They are also the places where we sleep.

St Benedict says that as far as is possible, monks should have what they need to live the monastic life in their monastery and do the work we are given to do. So nowadays a monk will often have books he needs for his work, perhaps in the school, and for his own study of theology or other subjects. He will often have a computer too, but we are not allowed access to the Internet in our rooms.

As for recreation, we would normally have some fiction or other books to read. The monastery library has got a pretty good supply of this, though it is not so strong on contemporary literature. People often pick up this kind of thing when they are travelling, and it can be shared. St Benedict was very keen that monks should share things! Private ownership is something we surrender when we take our vows. But We can easily let the idea that something is ours to enjoy creep back in.

He was also keen that anything unnecessary should be avoided. That is why a monk might have a radio or a modest CD player, with the Abbot's permission. But a monk would be encouraged to examine his own conscience about things like that, which generally are extras. In the Novitiate it is good to try to learn to do without, and to try to break some habits that can actually prevent us from listening to the silence in the depth of our hearts.


How do you test to see if your vocation is a call from God not just a comfortable escape to lead an easy life without responsibility? (This question was asked on 11th August 2006)

This is a crucial test of a vocation. St Benedict says the Novice Master (and Abbot) must test the spirits to see whether they are from God. A preliminary test would be in conversation with the Novice Master, to see whether the sense of vocation a person coming to the monastery talks about makes sense in terms of his story of faith. A vocation generally grows in a person’s maturing in faith and discipleship. Sometimes growth can take place very quickly, but on the whole a monastic vocation does not come totally out of the blue. Another test would be to see if the experience of living in the monastery actually enables someone to grow in faith and take greater responsibility as a witness to Jesus. If a person is truly responding to the Holy Spirit, there will be signs of it in the fruit of a person’s life, most obviously in the love, joy and peace that a person is able to discover and share with others. Monastic life is all about change, and being changed by the Holy Spirit that lives in the heart of a monastic community. Unless the Spirit moves a person, there will be signs of resistance. Now all of us know elements of resistance in our hearts, but a person will only grow by being able to let the Spirit take a leading role in shaping his life of faith in a monastic way.

It must also be said that monastic life is not an easy life, and there are lots of responsibilities. This is particularly true in our tradition where monks have to take considerable responsibilities in the school and parishes as well as in teaching the faith and working with others. But it is true in the way we have to take care of each other and of the monastery to make it a welcoming household of God. So generally if that is what a person is looking for, he is going to be disappointed.

Your question assumes a person lacks self-knowledge to understand his own motives or the honesty to tell the truth about them. Living a rather solitary life by modern standards normally forces people to face the truth in the monastery. It can be an uncomfortable experience, but integrity and self-knowledge is a vital part of the development of monastic maturity. The lack of it shows.


How can I discern if God is now calling me to be a Monk? When I was in my teens I wanted to become a monk but I took the path of priesthood instead, but gave it up. Now I feel a call to dedicate myself again. Do I really have a vocation to be a monk? (This question was asked on 1st August 2006) 

The first thing I would say is that you must not ignore this desire. The best thing you can do is to explore the issues with someone who is likely to be able to give you good advice, and to do so as promptly as is convenient for you. Above all someone with a better understanding of your vocational story, including the upheavals of your priestly ministry and of leaving it, should be able to help you judge whether this recurring sense of vocation arises from merely natural motives or is something that is probably supernatural.

That basic discernment should be pretty straightforward if you have any real degree of self-knowledge. Assuming that there is a possible supernatural vocation, the best thing you can do is to test it, or try it, by contacting a monastery. 

I tend to say that it is not, certainly not at this stage, a question of finding the right monastery or the best one - they all tend to the same kind of life in the end. The point is to see how the experience of being in a monastic setting, and sharing in whatever way in the life and prayer of that community, resonates with what is going on in your heart. 

If this initial exploration seems to be a positive encouragement of your desire for God, then it is important to consider which kind of monastic life may be the one you might hope to make the fullest response to God by following. Benedictine, or Cistercian, or any of the other forms of monastic life, for instance? Some Benedictines, like ourselves are more involved with the wider Christian community in school and parishes, for instance; others much less so, focusing on manual work and crafts in the enclosure of the monastery. Some have a large proportion of the monks living and working away from the monastery; others put more of an emphasis on the focal community of the monastery itself.

In the long run, I don't think it makes a great deal of difference, so long as you are faithful to your call and faithful to the monastic way of the community you make your home. But there are some initial preferences that a person has to declare to himself in prayerfully exploring what God is calling you to do. Again you should see this stage of the process as testing your vocation, not the vocation of the monastery!! 

What happens during a typical novitiate? (This question was asked on 17th July 2006) 

The Novitiate is the place where a newcomer begins the process of training to become a monk. More than that, it is where he, and those who are responsible for his training, examine whether he is called to this way of life. In fact, the main focus of the novitiate is to see whether monastic life, and in particular the monastic life of a particular community, is likely to be the way someone who is seeking God can make the best response to that sense of calling.  The proof of the pudding is in the eating!

A newcomer starts as a postulant - with us it is usually for around six months - and then becomes a novice. This lasts a year, though it can be extended. Both postulants and novices live together on the Top Floor of the monastery, and share the routine life of the community. However they do not at this stage share in the pastoral or school work of the community: the emphasis is on learning to live a regular life of prayer and work in the monastery and find this as a way to God.  Our website will give you some information on the basic daily round of the monastery.  It is a rather hands-on way of learning: learning by doing.

Experience of life in the community, especially with other novices (and the Novice Master) teaches a person a great deal about themselves, which is sometimes a bit challenging, although the support of others should be an encouragement. A monastery is a very quiet place by modern standards, and an important lesson will be to learn to quieten down and seek for God in the quiet of one's heart. Postulants and novices will get a lot of practice in prayer - not only in the liturgical prayer of the community, but also in personal prayer. The Novitiate spends two half hours in personal prayer each day, and the Novice Master will provide guidance for this as best he can: every one is a bit different. Besides this he will teach newcomers how to pray with the Bible - lectio divina. And there is plenty of time for reading, not only spiritual reading but also other books. In our tradition of life it is important to love reading, even if a person is not a great intellectual:  reading is a great source of wisdom. 

The daily work novices will do may be in the gardens or in the house or church. It is not usually terribly onerous, although there is much to be learnt from the ordinary routines of life and finding a holiness in attending to them carefully.   This is usually done in the afternoons for a couple of hours (maximum). They also help clear up the Refectory after supper and wash up, but they do not have to make breakfast - so that the morning prayer time is undisturbed. 

They meet each day with the Novice Master, for private discussion and lectio divina, for more formal classes as well as informally. The classes for the postulants involve an introduction to monastic life, some introduction to the liturgy and the Bible, as well as to prayer and spirituality (at a beginners level!!).  In the Novitiate year, the classes move on to a more formal study of the Rule and Constitutions, and if possible to some of the other texts that are fundamental to monastic theology and wisdom. There will be singing classes, and probably some Latin too. The study of the Rule leads into a more profound consideration of the vows a monk makes on his profession. After profession a monk remains in the Novitiate for a second year. One of the reasons is so that he can act as a source of encouragement and example to others who come after him, as well as continue to have the support the Novitiate provides in his own monastic development. However he will begin his formal studies of theology and philosophy, and take more part in the life and responsibilities of the community.


Does the monastic horarium become a routine, or is it a constant struggle   for the monk to be constantly conforming himself to the monastic duties, including the early rise for Vigils? (This question was asked on July 4th 2006)  

At one level the horarium does become a routine - but not JUST a routine. The good thing about routines is that they give a pattern, shape and meaning to a life. They let you get on with it, without worrying about what you need to do next. The problem with routines is that we normally think of them as patterns without meaning, at least not a meaning for us - like the nine-to-five desk job that has become just hollow and meaningless at a personal level. We live for the other times.

But there are good routines we have when we make a point of doing things that are important for us and, above all, our relationships with people we love depend on routines.  We would find it very hard developing any friendships if everyone was utterly unpredictable all the time, or if everything was done on the spur of the moment! The point about this is that our character as human beings needs routines and forms of regular living; they help us become good at being human, and in particular at being ourselves in the kind of way that lets others connect with us.
 
And that is why routines are important in a monastic community. They help us live together more completely, and they help us live our lives towards God more completely. They help us develop good habits of life and in particular good habits of prayer and a rhythm of living for others that helps us keep everything in some kind of balance. 

Christian life is like any form of life in that there are dry and dull periods as well as more lively and creative ones. We are seasonal creatures like trees. So it should not be surprising when things run dry and the path to life seems a bit dull. But there are other times, when it is full of interest, joy and fun. That is when you realise that the routine of monastic life is not empty; it is like a walking stick that helps you get along, sometimes even with a bit of a swagger! I will not pretend those times are when we are struggling to get to Vigils. But if I was not in the habit of getting up early, I probably never would - and I would never know what I was missing.

We do have to learn to get up in time for Vigils. A bell rings at 5.40 a.m. to help us! It takes some getting used to if you are used to getting up for a late breakfast or even lunch. But then we generally go to bed early too, and should not find it hard to get seven or eight hours rest a night.    


Do you still get to see your friends and family? And do you ever have holidays? (This question was asked on 1st July 2006)  

The simple answer is yes. We do not travel half as much as people take for granted nowadays, and we share only one small car, which means we try to use public transport as much as possible. But there is scope to see family (especially) and friends. Of course we do not get weekends 'off' or bank holidays, but after Solemn Profession we are able to spend up to 30 nights away in a year, work and other monastery commitments allowing. We do not get much holiday money to travel with, and the expectation is that in normal circumstances we would spend the time with family and friends. We would normally be allowed to visit our immediate family in emergencies, too. And family and friends can always visit us here. Different monasteries have different customs about this sort of thing, but that is how things are with us.  


What made you decide to become a monk? (This question was asked on 12th June)

I am sure everyone has their own story to tell. For me, when I got to the end of my university studies, I knew that prayer was terribly important to me, and that whatever else I did, I needed to have prayer at the centre of it. I also had come to know Downside as a monastic community, and was deeply grateful for the support it had given me by its hospitality over my university years. I suppose it had become a bit of the magnetic north of my spiritual compass. I was not sure at the end what I should do with my life career-wise, and frankly was not over-enthusiastic about some of the options that were being presented to me. In that context of dissatisfaction, I felt that Downside was the thing I felt surest about, and decided I ought to try it out first.

What attracted me to Downside was its strong commitment to personal prayer, its strong tradition of learning and its passion to share the life of faith not only in its community life but also with others, through its work in the school and in parishes.


I have just become a catholic. I want to know why I can think of nothing else than the idea of monastic life, and becoming a monk. However how do I really know the life is really for me? And if I am indeed worthy? (This question was asked on 9th June.)

Congratulations on becoming a Catholic; I hope you grow every day in your love for Jesus and his Church. From what you write it is a time of grace for you, and it is good feeling the joy and peace of that, just as it will be right to be patient and long-suffering in times that may be harder and darker. Our journey of faith has times of light and times of darkness.

I suspect it is not uncommon for a person to feel, as you seem to, that the journey to Catholicism is also the awakening of a more specific sense of vocation. It is also well worth trying to keep the two a little distinct. Not that they are different deep down: our growth in faith is a growth inspired by God and in response to his call and invitation to life. The point is a practical one. It is a big step to become a Catholic, and it is not a single step either, but a process of becoming fully part of a communion of faith and life. It needs a good time to settle into all that being a Catholic involves. To become a monk – or a priest, for that matter – is to take on a very specific role and state of life in the Church. It is not a good idea to try to do that before you are used to being fully part of the Church just in virtue of Baptism and the ordinary life of prayer and sacraments. So it is good to be aware of your sense of vocation reaching beyond what you received at Easter, but let the Church and the Holy Spirit help you grow by the ordinary means of grace first, and then I hope you will be clearer and more certain about what God does want you to do.

Monastic life is particularly appealing because it shows very clearly what Christian community involves, in terms of a life centred on the worship of God and the service of one’s brethren. It depends on the total commitment of a person’s whole life. So it is a very uncompromising image of the Church too. And, perhaps not least, it is an integrated and very fulfilling life, with a strong sense of purpose to it. Monastic life is, really, very attractive; and it is an excellent image of what the whole Church is called to be. So I am not surprised it makes such a powerful impression on you.

Is it your vocation? Time will tell, if you are patient and if you keep praying for God to guide you. There is some more on this on the vocation pages of the website. Am I worthy enough? No. But God does not call us because we are worthy; he calls because he wants some special service of us. He makes us worthy, and we need to do our best, humbly to let his grace work freely in our hearts and minds. Of course, if there is something wrong that needs to be confessed, we need to take an initiative; otherwise, we have simply to put our trust in God and in his powerful and healing love.


What activities do you do at the monastery? (This question was posted on Friday 9th June, 2006)

Here at Downside the biggest work is the school. Only a few monks are directly involved in teaching, but directly and indirectly we support it in all sorts of ways. Perhaps the most important work is serving as Chaplains to the staff and the students, and in ensuring the quality of Catholic education it offers. We also help look after the children at the local Catholic Primary School, St Benedict’s, and one of our community is a governor of the Catholic Secondary School in Bath.

Then there is the parish work in the locality and a few other parishes. One of our oldest monks even works in Gibraltar, because his health is not improved by the wet Mendip climate!

There is work to do in the house and gardens too. We are responsible for the overall administration of Downside, and there is a lot of work looking after guests and other visitors who come here. We have a very big library, which is cared for by a monk who is the Librarian. To look after the church, there is a Sacristan, who is helped by a number of other people. In church, we sing a lot too: that is looked after by the Choir Master.

That gives some idea. But the most important things we do are the times of prayer, both together and on our own. Nearly two hours a day are spent in prayer together, and at least another hour would be spent praying privately and meditating on the Bible.


Do monks put on a lot of weight? (This question was asked on Friday 9th June)

It is true that at Downside we do not as get much physical exercise as would probably be good for us. Like most monks, we work hard, and we do not get weekends off, but our work tends to be pastoral and sedentary, so some of us find it easy to get rather overweight. It is the same problem in the big, wide world.


What is the youngest age you would accept a person to the monastery? (This question was asked on Thursday 8th June)

The minimum age is 18 years. The real question we would ask is whether they are mature enough to share in our life. Putting it as simply as possible, if monastic life is about giving your life to God and the service of the Church, a person has to have a life sufficient to do this; and some degree of basic human formation is needed for a person to engage with monastic formation. An 18-year old may certainly have that, but in practice the best thing is often for a person to complete their education at university or have some similar experience of life away from home before they come to a monastery. That does not mean a person has to prove he can get a job and hold it down, or go through all the other ‘rites of passage’ of modern life. But I think that a sense of personal independence is important for everyone.

People often think they need some experience of ‘real life’ before joining a monastery. But there will be plenty of real life experience in a monastery; one of the dangers of modern life is that it is too easy to avoid it and live a fantasy life in the ‘big, wide world.’

The crucial thing in every case is a person’s sense of being called by God to seek him before and above all other things. Often the important sign is a sense of dissatisfaction with what the world, by contrast with a person’s desire and love for God, has to offer.

There is some more information about this on the Vocations pages of the website, under ‘What are the stages?’


I am wondering, how are sexual urges dealt with or addressed? Is this subject very 'hush hush' between monks or do they share with each other when they are being tempted or struggling in this area? (This question was asked on Thursday 8th June)

This raises a lot of questions, which I will try to deal with separately.
A monk is a human being, and like all human beings he will have sexual urges. This is a spontaneous thing, and the question is, as you say, how are they dealt with or addressed. In one way, I think the answer is the same as for a husband or wife. A spouse may be attracted strongly to other people than their partner, but he or she must always prefer his love for his partner to that of any other attraction. In the case of a monk or nun, the preference must always be for Jesus Christ, and the love he has shown us. An important part of the way a monk deals with sexual urges is by developing a deep and personal life of prayer, so that he can know how much God loves him and always prefer that love to other attractions.

That answer only goes so far: as physical creatures we have a biological life and sexual drive that can find its proper satisfaction in a sexual relationship with a human partner; but as monks and nuns this kind of satisfaction is not available. This is where we have to understand the place of chastity in human life. Chastity is not about saying ‘no’ to sex; it is about learning how to use our sexuality so that it becomes part of our conscious way of relating to others in love rather than just a matter of unconscious urges. All of us have to learn not to be driven by sex, but to use it as a way of loving others. That does mean learning to say ‘no’ to myself at times: even as a husband I ought never to use my wife to satisfy my urges and biological needs. Pope John Paul once called that a form of rape.

Someone who is learning to live a life of celibate chastity as a monk or a priest needs to learn to direct his sexual energy into the rest of his monastic life, but to use it outside sexual relationships. As in a marriage, this means learning to live in a way that fulfils his emotional needs and enables him to find fulfilment in good personal relationships with others, as well as find personal enrichment in other ways, through physical, intellectual and creative activity. Friendship is terribly important for a person to find fulfilment at a personal level. Having fulfilling work is important too, and monastic and priestly life is that, but work is not enough: using work to satisfy deeper personal needs makes people into workaholics, which is not good. But priesthood and monastic life do provide important ways for celibate men to become spiritual fathers.

A monastic community does not guarantee automatic friendships, but it is a place where people do learn to live together so that friendship can grow in different and often unexpected ways. Sometimes this friendship can be a really close spiritual friendship. This is not a crypto-sexual relationship, but something much deeper, where communication is at a truly personal and spiritual level.

I think everyone is very shy about talking honestly about their experience of sex and the challenges we all face learning to live chastely. On the whole that is not a bad thing! But talking about our problems is good and I hope it is easier for monks to do so nowadays than it was perhaps in the past. Certainly it is possible to share with other members of a monastic community or with other spiritual companions, and I think our understanding of that kind of relationship has improved over recent years. It is certainly a help to keeping things in perspective.


Do you need a degree to be a monk? (This question was asked on Thursday 8th June)

No, you do not need a degree to be a monk. St Benedict says that really the only question is whether a person is truly seeking God, and whether he is committed to the Work of God (a life of prayer), and ready to be obedient (do God’s will as it is made known in the judgement of the Abbot and his brethren) and patient in the various adverse circumstances that crop up in day-to-day life with others.

However, all human beings should try to develop all their gifts for the love of God, their Creator, as well as for the service of others. Intellectual gifts are an important area of human life, and their development is essential to our human growth. We may not all be very clever or know lots about everything, but we should, each in our own way, try to be wise and to understand life. So it is good to get a degree if you can – and it certainly does not have to be a degree in Theology.

Universities have changed a lot in recent decades, and I can imagine a young person, especially one who is beginning to consider the question of their vocation, wondering if a degree is really worth it. This is something that should be discussed with a person whom you feel can give you good advice on your vocation.


How can I rekindle my spiritual life? (This question was asked on Wednesday 7th June)

Your desire to rekindle your spiritual life is itself a gift from God. On your part, you need to make a time each day for some prayer and holy reading, especially of the Gospels. Invoke the Holy Spirit and be absolutely sure that no prayer is unheard or unanswered, even if not as we expect.

At the same time you need to take out of your life and heart any sin or wrongful attitude that may block God’s grace. Persevere in trust and hope. Try to forgive others and to forget the past.

Your prayers should include praise and thanks, as well as times of listening and silent love. It is easier to pray more personally when you realise that prayer is a response to God who is always in touch with us. He is not absent, and we can learn to listen to him by praying with the Bible, or some other book of prayers or spiritual wisdom. If you can find a prayer companion, it can be a source of encouragement and help. Sometimes the sense of spiritual emptiness is a call to pray more deeply. If you are a Catholic, it is good to go to mass every day if you can.


Do you get into trouble if you talk in your sleep during the Summum Silentium after Compline? (This question was asked on Monday 5th June)

It can be terribly annoying if someone is talking in their sleep, but it is a bit like snoring: there's not much a person can do about it when they are asleep, and so you cannot get into trouble for it. In fact this may be one of the reasons why monks generally do not sleep in dormitories together. Even though St Benedict thought it was a good idea to do so, in practice people have preferred to have private rooms, even though they can be pretty small. The room is called a cell, not because it is like a prison (!) but as a reminder that cells go together to make up a single organism like a community. In monastic life, the cell is really a place where a monk can be alone with God, where he can sleep in God's presence, but also where he can pray and meditate on the Bible.  


Do you ever get lonely? If you aren’t allowed to get married and you can’t have kids don’t you get upset and lonely? (This question was asked on Thursday 1st June)  

Thanks for your question. Loneliness and getting upset are difficult aspects of life. I think married people probably have the same difficulties with them as anyone else. At one level, living in a monastic community means there is plenty of company  - sometimes more than you think you want. But you don't choose your companions the way you choose a husband or wife. What brings a monastic community together is a sense that God is calling you to seek him, and this is a place and a group of people you find can help you on the journey. One thing a monk soon has to learn is to live with all sorts of people and things he might have been able to avoid in a different life, and that can make you feel a bit lonely. So too can the sense that even with so many others here, there is no one who you can really share what is in your heart or on your mind. But I think this is an experience that everyone has, at least at some time, and it is true for many people even in their marriage.   But the human vocation is about moving out of that kind of sense of isolation into good relationships with others; it is about creating companionship and friendship.   That is a two-way process and it takes a lot of time. It needs faith in the other person, hope in the possibilities of the relationship being the way to a fuller life of one's own; and it is all about love. It applies to all human beings. But because of that, it is central to Christian life, and it is central to the life of a monk, who is seeking God in the midst of his community. In a way other people are the path God uses to reach out to each of us. God helps us reach out of loneliness into relationship with him and with others. 


Is it a sin to be scared of getting beaten up if you know you did the right thing? (This question was asked on Wednesday 31st May)

Not at all. It is perfectly natural to be scared of being beaten up. God has given us a precious life and the need to be secure; he has also made us sensitive and vulnerable, so that we can care for each other. So when life is at risk it is perfectly normal and OK to be afraid. If we are at risk the right thing to do is to seek protection from someone who can help you. It is not cowardly to seek help. It may take real courage to do so. If we are at risk because we have done the right thing, that is, I am afraid a sign of the power of evil in this world. That may mean we feel even more afraid, because we are not only fighting a battle of physical strength, but also a spiritual battle for good over evil. That does not mean we do not need simple help. We should use all the resources we have available. But we can also be sure that, in our struggle against evil, God is on our side and will help us be wise in dealing with the problem and use our strength as best we can. It is a source of strength too to know that in our conscience we are taking a stand for what is right and fighting for good.   We also need to remember that in the struggle against evil, Jesus Christ has basically won the war. We should pray for courage like his.